About ME

I am a 34 year old woman who lives in a small artsy mountain community in Tennessee. I just turned 34 on July the 23rd. My horoscope sign is Leo but I am on the cusp of cancer. Ironic huh? I grew up in Chattanooga, TN although I was born In Troy, New York. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I am 5'6" and weigh about 125 lbs normally. Currently I weigh 147lbs. (gained quite a bit of weight when I went into and since coming home from my recent hospital stay). I am a Christian.

I am a stay at home mother of three children. My Children are as follows 15 yr old daughter, 13 yr old daughter and 7 yr old son. I am married to my second husband and I love him very much. We have had our ups and downs and challenges like everybody else. I care a great deal for him and we are very close. We have been together for 9 years now this fall. My first marriage lasted almost 7 years. My first husband was/is a very good person and he is a good father as well. I am the one that ended our marriage.

I have always had my mother in my life. I had a step-father from around 7 yrs old who was mostly my father figure growing up as my father wasn't around for much of my childhood. My step-father(David) and my mother were only married a few years. He always stayed around for me though after the divorce and I was close to him and loved him very much like my own father. He was a good father to me and a wonderful Pappaw to my children. He passed away in Dec. 2004 from cancer. My biological father is now in my life and has been since I was around 15 yrs old. He is married to my mother now and has been for about the past 7 years. He also is diagnosed with cancer. I will talk more about the other cancers in another post.

I grew up playing softball from the time I was 5 years old. I was a hind catcher and third baseman. When I started playing ball I was a first baseman and then a pitcher before moving to catcher and then 3rd base too when I wasn't catching. I was very good at softball and really loved playing ball. I roller skated a lot and was decent at it.

I have always been a person who loves to laugh. I even have learned to love laughing at myself. As a matter of fact I usually laugh hardest when I am laughing at myself. I smile a lot and usually will smile at or say hello to everyone I happen to cross paths with. I am overall a pretty happy and generally kind person. Although I wouldn't call myself happy-go-lucky. I have never mastered the art of being carefree. I am a worrier, planner and organizer instead. I am hardest on myself so I try to make good sound decisions the first time because I have always known that I am the one who will ultimately have to live with the consequences, good or bad.

I abhor lying/liars I see no point in it and think people that do feel the need to lie to get what they want or where they want to be in life are a waste of time, space and oxygen. They just need to grow up and learn to take responsibility for themselves. Some things I can be quite OCD or anal retentive about like cleaning/organizing, it mostly has to do with cleaning. I like it when things are symmetrical and everything has to be placed a certain way in my home(picture frames and decorations...that kind of stuff). I'm not a difficult person though, it mostly is just a funny thing about me, like any quirk someone may have.

I have never been the selfish or stubborn type. I am a giver and find it hard to ever be a taker. I would rather help others than be helped or need to ask for help. I am a quite thorough person and I have my own opinions about things and I see life as being mostly black and white with very little gray. If I make mistakes I own up to them. I have always been an honest, thoughtful, caring, compassionate, sensitive and selfless person. Sometimes, even to a fault. That is how I have always chose to be though...that is just who I am and how God made me. I've been told I give people too many chances, but you never know when it just might work that time around, always the optimist. Most of the time I am the glass half full type person.

I laugh at most things...I am very witty and find humor everywhere and in everything. I love laughing and do so often. Sometimes I even giggle and on occasion will even snort while laughing. Sometimes I laugh so hard my side and stomach cramp up. I have a very loud healthy laugh and when I met my current husband and he heard me laugh he later had to confess to me that the first time he heard me laugh it had scared him to death and he couldn't believe that big laugh came out of someone my size. I enjoy making others laugh constantly. I love making jokes out of things. I think I can make a joke out of almost anything. I call myself a co'mom'ian, instead of a comedian. My kids thought I should have tried to be on that reality show where moms were trying to become a comedian. Some people I know take this as immaturity or being air headed(because I'm a blonde), it isn't either one of them though and I would hate to have to live their lives without a good sense of humor and a lot of laughter. I just really love life and laughter.

I love conversation with a friend, or to have coffee/tea with a friend and to spend whole days or several hours visiting and catching up on/keeping up with each other's lives. I have a few friends that I have had for very long times in my life. My friends are family to me. There are certain people that I have known when I met them what level of significance they would have in my life, we just clicked immediately. All of my close friends in a lot of ways, not every way, but a lot of ways are just like me...on the inside. My friends have been there for me no matter what and have been so good to me. I can only hope I have been as good of a friend to them as they have been to me as I have been very blessed by their friendships. I love spending time at home with my family and to do things with my children. I love to go see my children do their activities, play their sports or sing in chorus. I love being a wife and mother, it is by far the best thing I have ever done in/with my life and I excel at it and have always felt blessed to have my family and my children. There is no better feeling in the world then the love I feel for my family. My children are my world, my everything, my reason for being. I have always showed them that and told them how much they mean to me every day. I have also thought that about them every day of their lives and the thoughts of loving them has made me smile and has warmed my heart everyday since their births.


I am intelligent I score in the top 2% on IQ tests. I am a more serious person for the most part. I know when not to be silly/make jokes. People who don't know when to be serious frustrate me. I am not a show off by any means, If anything I would prefer to be a wallflower in most situations. Most people see me as being the life of the party very outgoing type person or a person who draws a lot of attention when in social settings. Why people think these things I have NO idea they couldn't be more wrong but so many people have said things like that to me. I think that is so strange. I think maybe they confuse my confidence, looks and sense of humor with an outgoing nature because I am a very confident woman...I do have a lot of confidence in myself. I didn't have much confidence when I was younger and none really when I was a teenager. I really became confident around the age of 24. I had always seen confident people and wanted to be like that then one day it just kind of clicked, I even knew when I became more confident. Not only was it confidence but it was really more of when I came into my own I guess I would have to say. I spent a big part of my life wishing I was that other kind of person but I'm not and I am kind of glad that I am not. I have always liked who I am as a person all of my adult life. I am glad that I am the way I am, the good the bad and even with whatever quirks I may have. I over analyze everything layers and layers and layers deep and I love a good mental challenge whether it be a puzzle, a test, a debate, finding answers to obscure questions or information or learning about different things like different programming languages or code or solving difficult problems for people or myself even. I am also pretty competitive with things like games, races, competitions or something physically challenging. I am simple in a lot of ways but I am also very complex.

I have never had a weight problem or had to diet really, I just have really good genes. I know I am fortunate that way. Honestly though being skinny all of my life isn't as easy or better as some may think it would be, especially over weight people who complain about being over weight and getting picked on or made fun of because of it. Skinny people get picked on and people say mean things to skinny people too. Somehow it seems people think it is politer or more acceptable to make fun of someone if what they're making fun of is the more accepted by society thing. I got made fun of growing up for being anorexic, which I never have been. People used to ask me things like if I blew away when it was windy outside or would look at me from the side and say where'd you go and many other jokes of that nature. I even had a doctor tell my mom I was anorexic and that if I didn't gain (not exactly sure about the numbers here, but I know I'm close) like it was either 5 or 10 pounds in a couple of weeks that she was to bring me back in and he would send me somewhere to be treated for anorexia. He had asked her if I talked about weight a lot or was ever obsessed with my weight and she said "yes". The obsession was that I couldn't GAIN weight, I didn't think I was fat or heavy or anything like that. I mean wow there I was doing anything and everything I could do to Gain weight. That Dr. was apparently not all there. I weighed like 96 lbs at that time (my senior yr of high school) and it took me being pregnant with my first child to ever get over 100 pounds.

I as a 21 yr old found out that I had a goiter(enlarged thyroid gland, my body acts like my thyroid gland is bad or something and so it attacks itself) but because my hormone levels have never been "off" they haven't done anything about it. My Dr. that diagnosed it thought I should have it removed but I was too afraid to. I believe it has caused problems and have had a lot of symptoms for many years that people with too low thyroid function have, except the weight is as if the levels are too high. I always have been a medical mystery and this is just another medical puzzle. I do regret not having it removed at that time and was way under educated about the damage it could do down the road by not having it out.

I am a very attractive person, I like my looks. I feel conceited saying that but I am not a conceited person in any way and never have been conceited about my looks or anything else for that matter. I am just giving an honest assessment of everything about me and have it be as detailed as I can make it. I am trying to include everything about me and my life. Another thing about people judging or picking on...Quite often throughout my life women I meet act indifferent towards me before they even meet me or speak to me and I wish people would not judge me, or anyone else for that matter, by looks alone. I am a very approachable and nice person who does have interesting things to talk about. I have been told by many people all of my life that I am beautiful. My uncles and a lot of others told me my whole life that I should model but I didn't grow up thinking I was beautiful. I didn't think I was ugly but I definitely didn't think I was attractive enough to be a model. I thought people said it to me to encourage me and to be nice because they loved/liked me like a family member or friend should. I was in my 20s before it actually clicked that people really thought I should model. By then I already had my first child and was married and couldn't go and take off to model putting what I wanted before them.

I've never been stuck on myself or my looks. Someone who doesn't know they are attractive can't be that way, although, I know some people throughout my life thought I was that way. Funny how some people can know you but never "know" you or it may just be because they can't get past their opinions or jealousies. I guess those people never knew what I felt like inside about myself at that time in my life and like the fore mentioned jealousies and not being able to get past their own judgment, they never asked how I felt about myself either. It took me years like I said to actually see my outer beauty, On occasion I still have a hard time seeing it but I know that I am beautiful inside and out. I guess if I had any regrets that could be one and I do wish that I would have taken the time when I was younger to figure out who I was and do something on my own like modeling before having a family of my own. I was young when I had my daughter(18 yrs old) and got married for the first time(20). I do not regret making the choices that I made though. Having a child/husband brought me great joy in my life and I wouldn't change it for the world. That is why I made the choice, because that is what I wanted most...a family of my own. This really isn't a regret that I have it is more like wondering where other choices may have took me in life before I had a family. I guess more of a curiosity about what I could have done as a model really. People say the same thing to my daughter and I hope she will be able to have the chance to do modeling before making the choices of what she is going to do with her adult life.

I fight for what I believe in and stand-up for my beliefs. I am a strong but sensitive person. I guess if I have an inner struggle, that statement defines what and why it is. Some people see my sensitive side as being week, but it isn't a weakness. I think it is a good trait. My sensitive side makes me want to be a stay at home mom and a good wife to my husband. I went to cosmetology school and used to work as a hairstylist. Sometimes I miss it but am happier with what I do now. I don't work outside of the home, I do not have my own career. I do some work from home doing graphic design, programming and building websites. That is what some people in my life see as my being weak. I think it makes me old-fashioned. I grew up wanting to be a wife and mother and to have a husband that provided for me and our family while I took care of the kids/home. If anybody walked a mile in my shoes though they would see that in my life, with everything I have had to go through, I am a very strong person. A lot of people wouldn't be able to have lived my life and still put a smile on their face everyday and be as caring, happy, life-loving and as sensitive as I still am. I by NO means have had a bad life. I have just had a lot of challenges to overcome/cope with. Some were just what life gave me and others I created for myself with bad decisions. Everybody has their own challenges/problems in life and their own struggles. Nobody has it easy, everybody's life/struggles are unique to them. Some of us just make our lives look/seem easy, I guess, or you just haven't had to walk in their shoes. Life is too short to judge people, make fun of people for being different than you and definitely too short to be jealous of people. A really neat older woman whose hair I used to do told me with my ideas, likes/dislikes, decorating style, hobbies and just what I like in general that they thought I should have been born in a different time period. I somewhat agree. I love the mid/late 1800s through the early to mid 1900s. I know that I never could have lived without air conditioning, indoor toilets and refrigeration. I am also really glad that I got to live in the age of the PC.

I am mortal And I have never been perfect nor have I ever claim to be but even still I have lived where I have regretted very little in my life. I love who I am as a person and it took every decision and everything I have ever done, good or bad to make me who I am today. The mistakes that I have made in my life I do feel sorry for making them, if/when they have affected others I have apologized and tried to right them. The sins that I have committed I have asked God for forgiveness for and as a child of God I believe that I have received his forgiveness. I have grown as a person throughout my life I have never claimed to know everything but have eagerly learned about a lot of things, things of life and of myself. In life we are forever a student of life and the most important of the lessons we learn I believe is about ourselves, who we are and our purpose. I have loved greatly and been loved. I have been called Daughter, Granddaughter, Sister, Friend, Wife, Mother and Aunt. That to me is a Wonderful life full of many many blessings! My cup runneth over.